Do you need to learn how to stop overthinking during sex? 

 

How To Stop Overthinking During Sex

how to stop overthinking during sex

The 3 steps described below will teach you how to stop overthinking during sex. 

The first 2 steps are done outside the bedroom. They’re about creating some new mental and emotional habits BEFORE sex. 

Your mind overthinks for several reasons. You may be overthinking because: 

Over analyzing has become a habit.

Your subconscious mind may be bringing up concerns or worries.

You may just feel insecure or uncertain about some part of your body, abilities, or any number of things. 

All these concerns are legitimate. 

Thinking is a good thing. But overthinking is analyzing things too much and too often to the point that it becomes a problem. When our regular rational process becomes obsessive on a certain subject, it can cause stress, anxiety, anxiousness, and a host of unpleasant feelings. 

If you want to learn how to stop overthinking during sex, read and practice the three steps described below. 

This step alone can resolve a lot of unconscious overthinking in and out of the bedroom. 

 

 

how to stop overthinking during sex Identify And Address Your Concerns and Insecurities

how to stop overthinking during sex

The first step is to identify any concerns you have about having sex with your partner.

Write them down. Writing them down helps you keep track of them and your thoughts and feelings about them. 

And above all – discuss them with your partner. Get them out in the open. 

This will resolve a lot of issues automatically in one fell swoop. 

These may be worries you have, insecurities about a certain part of your body or your ability to perform, or any number of things. 

Consider that your mind will keep ruminating on and on about them until you address them and resolve them. 

 

 

 

how to stop overthinking during sexStop Overthinking BEFORE Sex 

how to stop overthinking during sex

This step has two parts to it. 

The first thing to understand is that you are not likely just overthink during sex. You are overthinking BEFORE sex. 

When it comes to how to stop overthinking during sex the key is to ALWAYS run some kind of new and different thinking and feeling patterns prior to sex. 

Perhaps you’ve heard of the ‘pre-sleep’ routine that many sleep experts recommend for people who have insomnia. They suggest doing a set of behaviors that induce relaxation and slow down the metabolism so that sleep becomes much easier.

The same pre-activity principle is used for having good sex. In this case we’re not making ourselves sleepy to calm down, we’re actually anticipating pleasantly an upcoming experience. 

The idea is to deliberately interrupt the old overthinking patterns that increase anxiety and insecurities with a new and different routine. This new routine will cause feelings and thoughts that are much less analytical. 

This is a very important point. Don’t actually try to ‘stop’ overthinking. Just do something else instead. Displace the old pattern with a new pattern. That something else is your new ‘pre-sex’ routine. 

Focus your thoughts on these new things prior to sex – before you ever get to ‘the bedroom’. 

Here are some examples: 

Giving pleasure – talk to yourself about ways to please your partner. This causes feelings of pleasant anticipation, arousal, and enjoyment.

Receiving pleasure – list the things you like, want, might enjoy etc. This creates feelings of pleasant anticipation, enjoyment, and arousal. If you imagine any of them, do so from an associated point of view – i.e. looking out your own eyes and ‘in the scene’, – NOT as if you’re watching a movie of the two of you.

A loving and caring feeling for your partner – list things you love and appreciate about them. Stack those things up and each time you do, feel a sense of appreciating them. This creates connection, and a loving, kind, and appreciative feeling.

Imagine foreplay and/or pleasant memories of you and your partner. These are non-sexual but sensual, romantic, and stimulating interactions you’ve had or are imagining having with your partner. Replay these scenes over and over. Use them like a guided visualization and a set movie you play in your mind. Be sure the feeling you have when you imagine or replay these scenes is positive. 

 

How To Interrupt Your Over ‘Analyzer’ and Focus On Giving & Receiving

how to stop overthinking during sex

In addition to running a new ‘pre-sex’ routine through your mind, you need to interrupt the old pattern of thinking any time you notice it and then return to your new ‘pre-sex’ attention pattern.   

The emphasis here is on the word interrupt.

You must refuse to let the old pattern of questions, worries, insecurities, etc. continue to happen.

At this point you have done step #1 already, which means you have significantly resolved issues and concerns. However, your mind may just have the habit of returning to them or no reason.

Stop it every time it does that – and go right back to your new ‘pre-sex’ routine.  Do this before you have sex and when you’re actually in the act of having sex. 

Every time you notice that your mind wanders back to old thoughts of insecurities, doubts, worries, etc. – gently and uneventfully bring your thoughts and attention back to your pre-sex routine. It won’t take long before your subconscious mind gets the idea. 

 

 

Stop Overthinking DURING Sex 

how to stop overthinking during sex

The final step on how to stop overthinking during sex takes place in the bedroom just prior to and during sex.

Now is the time to associate into your experience.

This is important because association increases the feelings and sensations of any experience.

Associating means seeing things from your own point of view – out your own eyes, hearing out of your own ears and feeling with your entire body.

Disassociation means seeing things as if you are watching them in a movie. So practice being present to the sounds, sites, and physical sensations that are happening instead of any self-talk or dissociated images. 

So how can you get better at associating into your experience? 

You can practice on things other than sex. Exercise is a great place to start. So is any physical activity like gardening, driving, yoga, or mundane activities like taking a shower or washing the dishes. These are all great contexts to hone and develop your skill at being more ‘in your body’ and associated. During these activities, practice keeping your attention on the things around you and on your own body sensations. Stay present.

Let’s take exercise as an example. Deliberately do a short set of 10 minutes of some particular exercise and practice being associated and, in your body, as you do it. Interrupt any imagination or imaging or internal movies of ‘seeing yourself exercising’.

Look at the yoga mat, feel your breathing, count your breaths, feel your body and sensations. look at the equipment your using or a focal point, etc. Focus on the things around you and on your own body sensations. And keep focusing on them. If you do this for a while, you’ll soon get very good at being ‘associated and in your body’. And when you have sex, simply do the same thing. 

And of course, practice this in the bedroom during sex. It’s one of the best things you can do to interrupt and stop overthinking and enjoy your experience more.  

Practice steps 1, 2, before sex, and step 3 in the bedroom itself right up to and during sex. 

One final tip. NO Mirrors. 

Mirrors create a dissociated view of the sexual interaction if they are in the bedroom or area where you’re having sex.

The image in the mirror is actually a reflection of the two of you. Looking at a mirrored reflection of the two of you IS like looking at a dissociated movie. That’s the opposite of being ‘in your body and associated.

So, take ALL mirrors out of your bedroom. 

 

Summary

Once you’ve identified and addressed your concerns and insecurities, begun doing a pre-sex routine and interrupted your pre-overthinking pattern, and become present and associated into your experience of sex – you’ll find that your over analysis in the bedroom is no longer a problem. 

You may also like: 

 

 

How To Stop Overthinking Quickly 

If you want to stop overthinking quickly, learn how to interrupt your overthinking pattern.

how to stop overthinking during sex Here’s a FREE report you can download right now that will show you a 3-step process for doing that.

It will give you immediate relief from the strain of overthinking any particular situation or subject. Click on the image at left or on The 3-Step Formula That Stops Overthinking in Its Tracks to download your free report.

The important thing to understand is that you may be overthinking more than you realize, not just in your relationships. 

Overthinking is mostly an unconscious pattern. It is important to have a counter strategy to your overall habit of overthinking itself; one that puts you more in control.

The rest of this post will give you specific methods to help you stop overthinking relationship.

 

 

If You Want To Develop More Skill at Eliminating Overthinking 

Stop Overthinking CourseCheck out my online course on how to Stop Overthinking.

It’s a great way to get better at interrupting the habit of overanalyzing, minimize negative thinking and criticism, and turn too much rumination into effective action. 

Click on Stop Overthinking Course to learn more. 

 

 

 

Disclaimer:
This post is for educational purposes only for how to stop overthinking during sex. Nothing in this post constitutes advice, therapy or counseling. The reader accepts total and complete responsibility for any and all actions they may or may not take as a result of reading this post.

Overthinking is a massive problem in our society. 

This is because western culture has made a "False God" of reason.

Our entire educational system is obsessed with analysis to the exclusion of intuitive understanding, creative right brain processes, and insight. 

The irony is that true critical thinking actually has a FEEL to it. 

You should be surprised if you do NOT overthink. It is highly unusual in a culture that is so inundated with overthinking and over analyzing. 

The danger is that overthinking easily turns into negative thinking.

Before you know it, you've picked up a pattern of being hypercritical, negative, fault-finding, blaming, condemning, and most of all COMPLAINING. 

Complaining is a disease in our culture.

Complaining manifests MORE of what you're complaining about because when you complain, you're putting your attention on what you do not want. 

The result of all of this is a massive epidemic of depression, anger, hostility, stress, insomnia, anxiety, and the inability to truly relax.

Feelings of genuine peace, joy, bliss, happiness, enthusiasm, and equanimity are all but inaccessible when thinking has become OVER thinking.

But there is a solution.

You can learn to interrupt overthinking by learning some simple patterns and integrating some genuine Right Brain Activities into your lifestyle.

Learn how with the Stop Overthinking Online Course

 

Stop Overthinking Online Course

 

 

How To Stop Overthinking Quickly 

If you want to learn how to stop overthinking quickly, this FREE gift is for you. 

Stop Overthinking FREE PDF Here's a FREE report you can download right now that will show you a 3-step process to stop overthinking in its tracks.  

It will give you immediate relief from the strain of overthinking any particular situation or subject. Click on the image at left or on The 3-Step Formula That Stops Overthinking in Its Tracks to download your free report.

The important thing to understand is that you may be overthinking more than you realize, not just in your relationships. 

Overthinking is mostly an unconscious pattern. It is important to have a counter strategy to your overall habit of overthinking itself; one that puts you more in control.

 

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