Do you need to learn how to stop overthinking after being cheated on?

 

How to stop overthinking after being cheated on

Does the situation feel unresolved and incomplete in some way?

Is your mind continuously dwelling on the fact that you were cheated on to the point that it’s distracting and bothering you?

The 3 steps outlined in this post will show you how to stop overthinking after being cheated on so you can resolve the situation, stop feeling hurt and taken advantage of, and move forward in your life.  

 

 

How To Stop Overthinking After Being Cheated On

how to stop overthinking after being cheated on

The mind often returns to a certain subject or experience because something is unresolved or incomplete.

If someone has been unfaithful to you, it means that trust and boundary issues are now unclear. They have been violated, confused, miscommunicated, or misunderstood. This cannot just be left alone to fix itself.  

The 3 steps that follow are an effective way to resolve what is incomplete.  

Once you do them, you’ll find that your mind does not dwell on the situation in the same way that it did before, and you are free to think about other important things in your life.  

But first, you must understand the message your mind is sending you by overthinking. 

 

How To Understand The Message Your Mind is Sending You

how to stop overthinking after being cheated on

If you are struggling how to stop overthinking after being cheated on, the very first thing to do is FRAME the situation usefully.

That means that from now on, consider that your mind is doing something to help you by overthinking. It’s doing exactly what it’s supposed to do. It is sending you a message. And it’s important that you listen to it, get the message, and respond to the message in a resourceful way. 

So, what’s the message? 

Your mind is telling you to “Get completion and resolution on this”.

How can you do that in a resourceful way? 

By Using These 3 Steps: 

1. Minimize the hurt of being cheated on
2. Use your overthinking to get to the root cause(s)
3. Make decisions and set new agreements. Clarify the path forward in the relationship

 

how to stop overthinking relationships Minimize The Hurt Of Being Cheated On

how to stop overthinking after being cheated on

One reason your mind may be returning to a particular relationship over and over again is that your subconscious mind is trying to work something out. Something is incomplete, unresolved, or doesn’t feel right.

One of the easiest, fastest, and most powerful ways to stop the hurt that is associated with being cheated on is this:

Every time you think about the situation – get curious. In short, link curiosity to the very thought of the relationship. 

This will do 2 important things for you:

First, it will help you to get OUT of the hurt feelings and into curiosity (which feels neutral or good)

Secondly, it will help you gain understanding and get to the root causes of the whole thing.  

To access curiosity instead of hurting or anger do this: Each time you find yourself thinking of the relationship, in any way, immediately ask 3 questions. Curiosity is accessed by asking questions you want to know the answers to.

Your questions should be useful and positive and about learning and understanding. For example:  

What can I learn from this? What do I need to do different?
What is actually good about this, or could be? 

What do I need to know or understand?
What do I need to get resolution and completion on this? 

What part did I play in causing this, if any? 
What is unresolved in this relationship?
What is their point of view?

You may want to write down your answers in a notebook. 

Keep doing this until the very thought of the situation automatically causes you to ask questions to understand, discover, and learn from this experience, and you feel genuinely curious to discover what’s hidden or not yet understood. 

 

 

how to stop overthinking relationshipsUse Overthinking To Get To The Root Cause(s)  

how to stop overthinking after being cheated on

This post is about how to stop overthinking after being cheated on.

However, did you know you can actually USE overthinking  instead of trying to stop it. That’s right. Instead of trying to stop it, you can turn it positive and make it work for you. 

You’ve already begun doing that in step #1, getting curious every time you think about the situation. You’re not trying to stop thinking about it, you’re changing HOW you think about it. 

The next step is to ask questions about what really caused this situation. Here are some questions to consider:

What’s the deep-down cause of this situation?
What was our agreement about fidelity to each other?
Was our fidelity agreement clear enough?
Is this about their character, lack of communication, or something else?
What caused of them to cheat on me?

Keep asking these questions until you get clarity about the original cause or causes of the situation. 

 

how to stop overthinking relationshipsMake Decisions, Set New Agreements, And Clarify the Path Forward

how to stop overthinking after being cheated on

The final step is to make some decisions. It’s important that you don’t linger in a grey zone of feeling sorry for yourself, blaming, anger, etc. 

Refuse to be in a place where you are left hanging. Insist on completion so you can move on.  It‘s time to get closure.

First, determine specifically what you want to do different in future relationships. Do this by imagining the past or future situation and replaying it in a way that you act differently and better.

For example, if you were too critical, replay the scene and see yourself being more supportive, understanding, or positive, and not criticizing at all, etc.

In other words, identify what you want to do differently and imagine doing it in that past or future-imagined situation.
Repeat this for a little while until you feel a shift.  

Next, make some key decisions. Depending on your values, what you learned in steps #1 and #2, the cause of the situation, etc. decide:  

Do you still want to be in a relationship with this person?
If you do, what will the two of you do differently, so this never happens again? 
 What are your new agreements with this person? 
 How will you reestablish trust? 
If you don’t, how will you end the relationship
What specifically will you do different in future relationships, so this never happens

You may want to discuss some these things with the other person and think about them on your own.

Again, writing it all down in a notebook helps a lot and you will help you review your thoughts and insights on the matter. 

The important thing is to make some clear decisions about the relationship, clarify what you’ve learned, what you’ll do different, and your path forward with or without them. 

I hope you enjoyed this post! Please feel free to share your comments below. 

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Learn To Stop Overthinking 

You may be overthinking the situation because you have a habit of over analyzing. It may be very helpful to you to learn how to stop and interrupt your overthinking tendency. 

How To Stop Overthinking FREE PDFHere’s a FREE report you can download right now that will show you a 3-step process for doing that.

It will give you immediate relief from the strain of overthinking any particular situation or subject. Click on the image at left or on The 3-Step Formula That Stops Overthinking in Its Tracks to download your free report.

The important thing to understand is that you may be overthinking more than you realize, not just in your relationships. 

Overthinking is mostly an unconscious pattern. It is important to have a counter strategy to your overall habit of overthinking itself; one that puts you more in control.

The rest of this post will give you specific methods to help you stop overthinking relationships.

 

 

If Overthinking is a Real Problem In Your Life 

How To Stop Overthinking Online CourseCheck out my online course on how to Stop Overthinking.

It’s a great way to get better at interrupting the habit of overanalyzing, minimize negative thinking and criticism, and turn too much rumination into effective action. 

Click on Stop Overthinking Course to learn more. 

 

 

Disclaimer:
This post is for educational purposes only. Nothing in this post constitutes advice, therapy or counseling. The reader accepts total and complete responsibility for any and all actions they may or may not take as a result of reading this post.

 

Overthinking is a massive problem in our society. 

This is because western culture has made a "False God" of reason.

Our entire educational system is obsessed with analysis to the exclusion of intuitive understanding, creative right brain processes, and insight. 

The irony is that true critical thinking actually has a FEEL to it. 

You should be surprised if you do NOT overthink. It is highly unusual in a culture that is so inundated with overthinking and over analyzing. 

The danger is that overthinking easily turns into negative thinking.

Before you know it, you've picked up a pattern of being hypercritical, negative, fault-finding, blaming, condemning, and most of all COMPLAINING. 

Complaining is a disease in our culture.

Complaining manifests MORE of what you're complaining about because when you complain, you're putting your attention on what you do not want. 

The result of all of this is a massive epidemic of depression, anger, hostility, stress, insomnia, anxiety, and the inability to truly relax.

Feelings of genuine peace, joy, bliss, happiness, enthusiasm, and equanimity are all but inaccessible when thinking has become OVER thinking.

But there is a solution.

You can learn to interrupt overthinking by learning some simple patterns and integrating some genuine Right Brain Activities into your lifestyle.

Learn how with the Stop Overthinking Online Course

 

Stop Overthinking Online Course

 

 

How To Stop Overthinking Quickly 

If you want to learn how to stop overthinking quickly, this FREE gift is for you. 

Stop Overthinking FREE PDF Here's a FREE report you can download right now that will show you a 3-step process to stop overthinking in its tracks.  

It will give you immediate relief from the strain of overthinking any particular situation or subject. Click on the image at left or on The 3-Step Formula That Stops Overthinking in Its Tracks to download your free report.

The important thing to understand is that you may be overthinking more than you realize, not just in your relationships. 

Overthinking is mostly an unconscious pattern. It is important to have a counter strategy to your overall habit of overthinking itself; one that puts you more in control.

 

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